Everyone knows about the Vagelos Program, one of the hardest undergraduate tracks at Penn. With an emphasis on biological science and research, Vag has an extremely tight admissions process — only a select few have ever come inside the Vagelos Building. And given its demanding workload, students drop out of Vag all the time. Those who stick with the program spend most of their time in the dank Vag lab working with yeast.

But there’s something else about Vagelos (yes, that’s a soft “g”). Apparently, its name evokes images of the female anatomy, images one perhaps wouldn’t want to associate with a building or a prestigious program.

But don’t tell that to Roy and Diana Vagelos, who, as Bwog reports, have really outdone themselves. The new name of the Barnard student center will be:

The Vagelos Center.

That’s right, the social hub of the all-girls school will be called the Vag.

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Are women just their vaginas?

Ugh, that was so Carrie Bradshaw. But whatever. The point is, I never want to hear the word vagina again. Not on Locust Walk, not in Irvine, not ever. And oh, the implications of seashells, flowers, pussycats. 

As you’ve probably noticed, hoopla surrounding “The Vagina Monologues” is rather pervasive here on campus. (Like a trendy, expensive handbag, all the cool girls are flaunting it.) But, what can I say, I’m cool by association, and attended Wednesday’s showing to see one of my best friends perform.  

Let me set the scene: spotlight on a lone girl (maybe a few) in faux-sophisticated black and red getup. She is flailing her arms passionately (helplessly?) and rambling on about a number of things (e.g. sex, pubic hair, perverts and, duh, vaginas). I understand that the production has its merits — it is a novel idea to fight against violence and raise money for rape victims. The campaign has been quite lucrative, and according to the producer, Penn has raised over $27,000.

But although I’m impressed, I still can’t help feeling strangely dissatisfied. The production itself felt cliche, nauseating, and stale. (Ew, stale vaginas).

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